Keep in mind..all of this stuff is hella old, like...4-5 years old.
nothing's ever good enough,
always shy of perfection
so what if i don't want to shine
to make the world see me
everything needs a little more work
i never get anything right
i haven't given up yet though
and i still try to do my best
pushing isn't always a positive
it's pressure, stress and hopelessness
knowing i'll never meet the standard
that was set just out of reach
comparing can be good and ill
for there's always someone weaker
but there's also always someone better
prettier, smarter, taller.
there's someone striving to be what you are
while you're striving to be more
no matter how much you push
or are pushed
those someones will always be there.
it's at times like these
when i really don't care
what you have to say
i'm not here to please
for once, can't you just go
leave me alone to my thoughts
don't crowd me don't order me
maybe you don't know
what's best for me
so many things do not matter,
but the stupidest things always do.
i'm worthless, i'm stupid, i'm ugly, i'm useless.
and i'm disrespectful if i don't listen to these words.
i'm expected to just sit there and nod along
while i'm berated and put down.
it doesn't matter what i do
or how much effort and heart i put in
it'll never be the right things
i'll just cry myself to sleep again.
the tears come less and less
since i work so hard to keep them oppressed
along with my self-confidence
since i'm supposed to allow it to be stepped on
at least by those who know better
or rather think they do
when really they're just as ignorant
and less open-minded than me
and of course it's all my fault
since i've been trained to put-down myself
hammered into memory, how stupid, worthless, and useless i really am.
this isn't another sappy story
about how great and precious love is
i don't care about the colour of your eyes
and if they sparkle or shine, good.
i'm not going to compare your smile
to the sun, stars or anything else
because just you smiling at me is enough
there's nothing wrong about the fact
that you're ordinary and kind of simple
your laugh isn't rich and vibrant
but more quirky with an added snort
i really do love you and to me
you are the world
but not because you dazzle and shine
or that your smile radiates warmth,
but rather, because of the simple fact
that you are you.
there are days when you hurt me,
days when i can't stand you,
and there are the days,
when i want to be nowhere else,
than wrapped up in your arms.
so maybe this is a little sappy
it's your fault though,
you bring it out of me.
i just want to tell you that i love you,
all of you and i always will,
even if your eyes lose the sparkle
and your smile pales compared to the sun.
i'll be by your side forever,
chasing our dreams together.